I Thought (Ha!)

I once had the power of a hurricane,
There was nothing I couldn’t tame;
I could wreck a building
And kill without blinking,
For me, it was all the same.
But I was a stranger,
A shriek in a symphony,
Laughter in a funeral,
An outline to what I really want to be.
Like a helpless immigrant in oneself,
Like a reader who knows not how to spell.
And with all the power I had
I still just lay in a sack,
With not a step forward
Or a blink backward,
So weak, so pompous, so lost
With a will put to frost.
So I gave up and set my mind to forget
Ambitions once high,
A dream whose memory makes me cry.
I surrendered to my fate
From which I cannot escape,
I started to rebuild my life,
To restart playing this game
But with new rules and a few chosen names.
A new behavior and a better attitude,
A fresh appearance and a forgotten solitude,
A convincing feeling of satisfaction
And easy acceptance;
Like a temporary distraction
And simple abandon
Of a deep reality,
Of an untouchable fact.
It actually causes a certain serenity
Replacing all that inner wrath
That used to conquer my soul
And eat me up from the core.
But would a tornado be satisfied
Writhing in only a heart?
Can a volcano sleep forever
Like nothing is going to betide?